I'm Confused.

They say the first novel you ever write, you need to stick in a drawer and forget about.

So, why won't this novel DIE already?

It was the first full novel I wrote, at age 18, as a freshman in college. It's had many names over the years. "Clara's Secret." "In the Garden." Now, twenty years later, I've retitled it once again and I've completely reworked it.

I think it's kinda good. Granted, I may need a reader or two to CONFIRM whether or not it's any good, but I will say I've already shopped this novel around--to eleven editors at publishing houses.

We got ten rejections, then an "almost" which led to a rejection. That was six years ago. SIX. None of the editors we submitted to are still around, the story has been retooled--I don't know...something keeps telling me to submit it again! Of course, I need an agent for this--my last agent and I parted ways (amicably) because I like to write stories with Fantasy elements and he does NOT rep Fantasy, so we weren't a good fit...but I just don't know what to do.

I'm so confused. It's the NOVEL THAT WON'T GO AWAY. Hubby says it's the best writing I've ever done. (Only because I've been editing the durn thing for 20 years!) He's solidly behind me "getting it out there" again, but I just don't know.

LAME.